this past weekend will be most memorable until the day I die..
if it wasn't for my angel, J.P., I wouldn't be more understanding about my views of life than I am today; a renewed and replenished Vince.
It all started on Thursday, when my shepherd, Binoy, did all out of his way to orientate me about what LSS(Life in the Spirit Seminar) was all about. I'll tell you, I had to endure so many obstacles against the dark one in order for me to be able to attend this retreat. a retreat that would bring me closer to God. While I had several friends over, I was in the upper section of my tita's house with Binoy for 3+ hours conversing about what troubles I had in life, and yes it was excruciating because I haven't been open about my problems with anyone in a very long time. not that it was bad I shared my troubles with Binoy, but that I had so much anger and hate in me that I didn't want to endure much longer; the darkness that has been eating me up for the past 11 years. at the end of the night, I knew I was ready to take on the retreat this weekend.
Friday:
the first day of the seminar. Confessions to Fr. Edward. I don't know if any of you ever had to be completely honest and on point with every single sin you've committed since day one(including forgiving ALL and every single person that has put me in so much pain. this was the hardest of them all), that I had to do so in order to advance into the steps of true cleansing and welcoming of the Holy Spirit. and yes, it was difficult, I actually had to confess twice this weekend in order to be completely replenished of my sins. despite of my thoughts and feelings of being shameful of what I have done to hurt others and myself throughout my life, I felt really good about myself in the end. something I learned that stood out about being pure, Confession is stronger than Exorcism; that it is our own free will that releases the anger and pain that dwells in our hearts compared to having to depend on someone else to do the cleansing for us. **evidentally, there was actually a good reason for my last poem "free will" that I wrote for the poetry slam I threw a few weeks ago** wow!!
Sat:
the spiritual blessing begins. o man, words can't express what I experienced that day, I would have to say that out of all the days of me being on this earth, I've never felt so much Joy in my life; being able to fully embrace the Holy Spirit, and have the sense of being reborn. a feeling I wish all my fams and friends would also feel and embrace. you don't have to take my word for it. It was just God's calling for me to be there(not an accident or co-incidence), to do what he wants me to do, a humble servant to the Kingdom of Heaven, blessed with the gifts that only who are worthy and willing enough to do so to make this world a better place. I can't actually explain what these gifts are, but I pray for those who are reading this that one day, God will call you into his light, and receive the blessings as I have...
Sun:
Thanks and Praise! the conclusion to the whole seminar was also really intense. again, i would have to apologize that sharing this part of the seminar, it would be best if you were just there. "Thanks and Praise to God" I'm pretty sure you might have the slightest idea of what it was like.
Leaving that night was pretty hard, because as much as I wanted to stay and be around the goodness that was present in the premises of the retreat, I knew that going out into the world with these blessings and gifts, I would have to put into affect what God has called me to do; his plan for me =). Thank you God, now I know that through all these hardships and struggles during the dark times of my past, you were always present. It was just a matter of time that I had to really motivate myself to come to you, and open the door to my heart. You knocked on in so many times, that finally I opened it to you. I wish I did that a long time ago. I know this might be awkward for some of you too hear how spiritually-religiously minded I am at the moment, but hey, you can't blame me for being touched by the Lord. In time, you all will feel what I felt.
God Bless you all!
Jesu Christo in Excelsis!!!!
St. Michael's Victory over Satan
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